One night I was sitting with my kids whilst they were watching TV, and in part as a joke and something to dream of, I wrote out a "shopping list" of what I wanted in a husband. I asked the kids to call out a few things so I could add them to the list. Then I folded it up and put it away, without thinking about it again.
As a therapist, I can teach a couple how to communicate in an hour. It's not complicated. But dealing with the troublemakers who started the fight? Well, that takes a lifetime.